“Write what you are worrying about right now.”
Having been off work for 7 weeks I am, of course, worried about going back to school. It’s not just kids who get the back-to-school blues, you know.
Right now I am chilled out and happy. I am rested and relaxed. I am efficient and organised. I am a loving and patient parent and partner. I am drinking a wide range of alcoholic beverages in moderation and not worrying about the consequences. Next week, I will not be these things.
Next week, I will be stressed and miserable. I will be tense and tired. I will be inefficient and disorganised. I will be an impatient and snappy parent and partner. I will be drinking wine to drown out all of these things and worrying about the consequences. Next week, I will be thinking wistfully about this week and the 6 before it.
But, as every year for the last 12 years that I’ve been teaching, I will soon forget about the me that I like to refer to as “Summer Me” and I will become the “Normal Me” again. Because, like everyone else who has to work, I understand that “Normal Me” is the me I have to be in order to provide for my children and to continue to have the lifestyle that I like to live. “Normal Me” actually quite likes teaching and working. “Normal Me” hates the bureaucracy, bullying and unnecessary pressures that are imposed upon my profession, but not to the extent that I want to leave the profession. Yet. “Normal Me” quite likes rediscovering my brain after 7 weeks of barbecues and booze. “Normal Me” understands how very lucky I am to have had these last 2 months with my children and my family and my friends.
So, this is what I am worrying about right now. But not to the extent that I will stop enjoying the last few days of enjoying “Summer Me” before she disappears for a year. I’m off for a glass of wine.