I have just got back from the wedding of my very dear best friend. It was amazing. Watching someone I love so dearly joining together with her long term partner, in front of a room full of people who adore them both, was incredible.
I was maid of honour at my this wedding – the third time I’ve been blessed with that post – and each time the experience has blown me away. This time more than most. Maybe it’s because my BFF is in a very similar place in life to me; maybe I’m getting softer in my old age; maybe because of the wine, who knows?
I have to admit I’m usually a bit wedding phobic. I’m not married myself but in a long term relationship. We do intend to marry one day but up to this point we have not been able to come to an agreement on how to do it, let alone how to pay for it. As the years go by I’ve become more and more cynical about marriage and weddings. I think that some people get very carried away with some of the less important aspects of weddings and that they have become too cliched. However, I have to admit, every wedding I’ve been to lately has made me reflect on my feelings towards weddings and I’m wondering if I’m being a bit of a bitter old lady for feeling like this. On my BFF’s wedding day the feeling of love and affection and goodwil toward the bride and groom throughout the day was immense. It wasn’t just about the colour schemes and the Pom poms – it was a celebration of two lives becoming one, hopefully for the rest of their lives together.
I was asked to do a reading in the service and the first one I found was one of the ones the bride had shortlisted too. It was meant to be. It is also one of the most beautiful pieces about love and long term relationships I’ve ever read and I felt honoured to share it with the congregation. As I read the words I felt their meaning in my heart as well as my eyes and mouth and I felt it was the perfect description of what the day was about. I’ve copied it below for you to read too. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.
From Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, by Louis De Bernieres
“LOVE IS A TEMPORARY MADNESS. IT ERUPTS LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE AND THEN SUBSIDES. AND WHEN IT SUBSIDES YOU HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION. YOU HAVE TO WORK OUT WHETHER YOUR ROOTS HAVE BECOME SO ENTWINED TOGETHER THAT IT IS INCONCEIVABLE THAT YOU SHOULD EVER PART. BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS. LOVE IS NOT BREATHLESSNESS, IT IS NOT EXCITEMENT, IT IS NOT THE PROMULGATION OF PROMISES OF ETERNAL PASSION. THAT IS JUST BEING IN LOVE WHICH ANY OF US CAN CONVINCE OURSELVES WE ARE. LOVE ITSELF IS WHAT IS LEFT OVER WHEN BEING IN LOVE HAS BURNED AWAY, AND THIS IS BOTH AN ART AND A FORTUNATE ACCIDENT. YOUR MOTHER AND I HAD IT, WE HAD ROOTS THAT GREW TOWARDS EACH OTHER UNDERGROUND, AND WHEN ALL THE PRETTY BLOSSOM HAD FALLEN FROM OUR BRANCHES WE FOUND THAT WE WERE ONE TREE AND NOT TWO.”